the story behind her continues.

Two pairs of eyes randomly wandered around and met after such a long time. Though I've never expected it, we met again.

A friend of mine and I were shopping together for our class Christmas party for this year. When we were through, we decided to stop by at a mall to get something that our other friend ordered. We took a jeepney. As I was searching for empty seats for us to sit on, I dumbly and accidentally stepped on a passenger's feet. I didn't stopped to look and apologize because the jeepney was about to hit the road again. I was afraid that I'd lose my balance so I took my seat first. When we got to our seats, I was having a hard time putting our shopping bags together because I brought my basketball that time.
My friend poked me and pointed a passenger in front of us. It was then that I put my gaze to the passenger pointed by my friend. An electrical wave with an unknown source shook me when I saw those eyes. The eyes that I longed for. It was him.
He flashed his beaming smile and nod. I mindlessly smiled back to him. It was then that I realized it was his feet that I've stepped on. I felt bad and embarrassment that I couldn't even say "I'm terribly sorry, I've stepped on your feet." to him. So, I just smiled again. If only there were fluorescent lights instead of neon lights in the jeepney, it would have been obvious that my cheeks were flushing red. Funny, right? I find it funny and silly to be that "me." It's totally hilarious that I think of myself like that. Ha. Ha.
When the jeepney reached the mall's premises, he told us that he'll be going first. My friend and I were laughing that he didn't realized we also stopped for the mall. We didn't see him again after we strolled around the mall. We accidentally bumped into my mother who's shopping, too, for the holidays. My friend went home first. I was kinda feeling bad that I couldn't get to see him again. So, I asked for a sign. If I'd see him again, then there's something good that'll happen. My mind was fighting with my instincts. I kept on thinking that it's impossible to see him again that time because maybe he had a date or he's buying something for his special someone.
Mom and I went to McDo's place to order Burgers to bring home. I was the one who fell in line to order the food. As I was picking my things up and was on the way to the exit, a familiar face was beaming with smile at me. It took me a second to recognize the face. It was him. He was smiling at me. At me? Gosh, I couldn't even believe that but it was the truth. I thought I was having a trip to dreamland but no, I was in the reality.
I didn't want to miss the opportunity. I smiled back. He waved. Wow, that was the second best climax of the moment. Funny again. Of course then, I waved back. I so much wanted the time to slow down so that moment could last a little bit longer. But then, I moved on to the exit.
My heart was pounding when I realized I left my bag. I rushed back to the fast food, and grabbed my bag. I, then again, glanced over his face for the last time. Maybe we wouldn't meet again for a very long time. He, then also, flashed his gaze on me and smiled. I kept on smiling on the way home. That was the last memory of him for now. I would cherish it forever.
The story has continued, continuously surprising me, now and then. The story has its own twists and blends. I never knew how God could be such a dramatic writer. He always surprises me.
So, you, what's you story?

gifts and thoughts.

Christmas season had come. This is the season to feel the agitation in opening beautifully wrapped gifts, and feel the joy of being near to your loved ones.

I've been receiving gifts since then. But one thing I just don't know what to do.

There's this gift of a stuffed toy. I named it "Petrie." I was kinda surprised why someone has given that to me. Surprised because I had not expected that he would give me something this Christmas. I was grateful for the thought of giving, at least. But I didn't want to show up as a snobby and mean girl not accepting it.

Do you know why I'm feeling like this? It's because I just couldn't replace CJ. He was given by a special someone of mine. I wasn't wishing and will never be wishing for a stuffed toy anymore because I already have CJ. And no one or nothing can ever replace CJ. I don't want Petrie, the stuffed toy, to feel bad about my favoritism.

The someone who had given me Petrie should, at least, have asked. Anything else would have been better such like a necklace, a handkerchief, a watch, a pillow, a keychain, or the Jonas Brothers' Lines, Vines, and Trying Times album. I don't mean to offend or hurt the giver. It's just that I couldn't help but express my feelings through this post. This is what Blogger is all about, right?

At the very least, I'm still grateful and I appreciate the thought of giving me such. Really, and from the bottom of my heart.

Though I love surprises, sometimes it can't be avoided that I'll feel disappointment and discontentment. These are one of human's characteristics. I know you've felt this way, too. But somehow, in every gift we have and will be receiving, it's the thought that counts. No matter how expensive or cheap. The fact that someone had exerted effort to wrap the gift and had spent money to buy it, then the someone showed care, appreciation, gratefulness, and love.

CJ (left) and Petrie (right)

the art of trying something new.

On the last few weeks of 2009, I have discovered something that I find quite enjoyable and heartwarming. Something that I thought would never be for someone who's the nice and sometimes reserved type of a girl like me. Something that makes me feel happy and satisfied. What I'm talking all about is Basketball.
I may be the studious, diligent, and shy girl you think I am. But believe me, I'm far than that. I seldom study because studying freaks me out but I read and listen that's why I have somehow maintained my grades. When I entered the Juniors Girls' Team in Basketballs, I realized it is something that I should work on. I was also amazed on how the basketball star players make their moves and shoot when I served as the scorekeeper in the games.
It made me feel like I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be able to move like them and glide in the basketball court. I wanted to be able to express myself in a whole other way. Since then, I've been practicing and playing with my teammates. And it sure was fun. Every move, every step, every shoot, every rebound were all coming from my heart. It is because I do things that I love with my whole heart in it. I was able to avoid being reticent and reserved as what I thought I was supposed to be.
It helped me in proving to others that I can do other things that aren't supposed for me to do. It proved that trying something new maybe risky and dangerous that you'd turned out to be regretting in the end. But you should risk and climb mountains, you'll never know a beautiful meadow is behind those mountains. You'll know along the way that it isn't for you and you can always climb another mountain.
Never be afraid for trying something new is always something worthwhile to do. That's the art of trying something new.

The Story Behind Her

People talk a lot about love. They talk a lot about people involved in love. They tell stories about love of other people or about fairy tales like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. But they don't realize, they, too, are living their own stories. Some people prefer to keep their real life's love stories secret. Why? Maybe because they've lost their battle and they feel hatred for losing their loved one. But that's not actually what love is all about. Love is when you feel no remorse, no resentment, and no hatred. Love is when you feel satisfaction, contentment, and total happiness even if you surrendered everything. I'll tell you something about my story. Although it's not much like totally true love but somehow there was this spark that made me think of someone in my past and of my future. I don't know if the story has come to an end for all I know is that future truly surprises a girl a lot.
The girl was still a child. She was innocent to the unknown world of love when she unexpectedly fell in love with a boy that was impossible for her to reach. He was four years older than her. The girls' friends were teasing her whenever he comes around. That's why he sensed something unusual with this girl.
The boy was strict when it comes to school rules and regulations. One was to avoid wearing bullcaps inside the school's premises. Once on a hot afternoon, the girl can't help it but she wore a cap. When the boy passed by, he stopped and told the girl to take off her cap. She took it off immediately and realized it was the first encounter with him. Instead of humiliation, she felt joy.
The day of Graduation came. Both of them were to start with the new chapters of their lives at separate ways. The boy was to enter college life which means he's broadening his horizons at a different school, leaving her behind.
For all the girl knew, she has discovered a lot of things. She was broadening her horizons. She was encountering and meeting different people that have put a mark on her life. She has been experiencing puppy loves with other boys, fun and mischievous moments with her friends and her own self-discovery. She had learned to forget about childish things that would let her remember of him.
She was starting to realize that her childish dreams were the products of her own young imaginations. Until one day, the boy suddenly came back and visited the school. She wasn't prepared for that. She quickly asked for her friends to go home early. She was about to go out of the school gate when somebody called out her name and said, "Wait!" She was electrified with the voice that rung her ears. She slowly turned out to see who called her. It was him. And she was in shock.
He asked about someone she knew. But she couldn't make out the words for she can't believe she was conversing with him. He asked again if she knew about this someone. She composed herself and replied him with a smile. Yes. She knew that person he was asking about, he was asking about a friend. And he bade her goodbye.
The girl couldn't make up with what just happened. All she felt was the sudden flowing back of her feelings and emotions back when she was still a child who knew nothing about love.
She couldn't stop thinking about him for it was the very first time they talked.
Not until then, she learned that the boy and her friend that he was asking about was having a mutual relationship. That was something that she have not expected to happen. She felt a stab of jealousy and pain.
Despite of her silent suffering, something had happened. She and the boy were creating a friendship through the technological mean of communicating, texting. There, the girl felt like he's closer to her and felt like he was talking to her. There, she learned a lot about things that she thought she wouldn't know about him.
Their immediate bonding over the phone lines had put on a song that the girl would always remember. It was when they coincidentally listening on the same radio station, playing the song, "Truly Madly Deeply" by Savage Garden., and he dedicated it to her, not knowing that the song would always be in the girl's heart.
After a period of time, they stopped texting. She learned that they broke up, not knowing the reason. Instead of feeling relief and joy for the break up, she felt sad for she knew that her friend and the boy were good for each other.
Another magic moment occured to the girl's life. It was a birthday party of a friend when they unexpectedly crossed their paths again. She was astonished for it was yet another conversation with him. They've talked and chatted for awhile. She was still in high school and he was in college. Both have totally different worlds. For the whole time, her heart was beating rapidly. After the party, they've parted ways again, not sure for when they would meet again. But one thing the girl couldn't forget was the boy's gaze when she looked deep down into his brown eyes while talking. She would cherish it forever.
Her life moved on with different experiences with other people, not with him. At times, the boy would visit the school especially on occasions. But both are until furtive glances and smiles. The girl wouldn't dare to say "Hi!" or get close to him. But, whenever she has to, she would greet him anyway.
They are living their lives now separate from each other but surprises are along the way to the future. Destiny is deciding their fate but no one knows what and how. That's why I said this story has no ending. It may end with a dot or a period but the two people in the story have lives to lead. They may not have had a relationship with each other but both of them were surrounded with love. Both of them were capable of loving. Their story would always continue where future may bring them.
Same as yours.
Are you living your story to the fullest?

Love Stories (Revised Edition)

At this young age of mine, I have heard and have seen things that might have broaden my perspective about love. Everday, I see different people, who are bounded with love, exchange "I Love You's," "I Miss You's," "I Heart You's" and a lot of sweet one-liners . I feel like posting their stories here in my blog (might as well a perfect exercise for my Feature Writing skills).

Love Story # 1

Two young teenagers have been living with the question, "Which would you prefer to commit, friendship or your love for each other?" They met as strangers in a classroom, never thought what future may bring them. They've started with plain friendly SMS messages to sweet late-night calls. A connection, which they can't intentionally disregard, was building up between them. They've never talked or conversed to each other but physical manifestations such as furtive glances and electrifying gazes made them understand something peculiar was going on. Finally, the boy couldn't take it anymore, he came up to her and talk to her as his very own best friend. Nothing else could ever surmount their friendship but their feelings for each other. They were anxious to express true feelings and level up their relationship status but they both feared their treasured friendship would be destroyed. One thing they knew, no matter what will be their status is, their love for each other will always prevail.

Love Story # 2

A young girl fell hopelessly in love with a boy. The boy fell in love with her, too. They were both young but they've already fallen into the burning flames of love. They've overcame a lot of trials already. The refusal of the girl's parents, nasty rumors and gossips about them, long-distance affair dilemmas, misunderstandings, and their vices. Temptations often tried to break their relationship apart but they've hold on. Their strong bond made their families grew closer to each other, trusting them with all their hearts.

Love Story # 3

A girl was secretly loving her friend. This friend loves to be with the girl for all he knew was he feels comfortable when she's around. The girl was so eager to tell her feelings but she can't do it. The friend has been desiring for the moment that he would confess it all to her. Everyday, they meet and sit with each other, both longing for more. Until now, fear reigns their hearts. Fear of loving and fear of losing.

These are just some of the love stories of the people I've encountered. There's one thing in common among them. All of them loved. Yes. Love. They may have the happy ending or the sad one but that doesn't matter for everyone of them is capable of loving. That is what these love stories are all about. I wonder when I would tell someone about my story.

The Fellowship

The word "FUN" is pretty bounty this day.

I had a lot of fun during our Inter-Campus Ministry Fellowship. Yes. I'm a Campus Minister. I'm not one of those who have the best voices around, but I'm pretty much proud that I could sing a bit to praise the Lord. Just don't try listening to me. I'm always flat in singing.

The fellowship was joined by a lot of students from different schools, including ours. The fellowship was about nurturing one's relationship with others through Jesus Christ. A guest speaker discussed about this. According to him, there are three dimensions of relationship: Intra-Personal, Inter-Personal, and Transcendental.
The first one is the relationship with your own self. The hardest enemy to conquer is the self. I agree. We have our own insecurities. We tend to look on our negative sides, ignoring our positive ones. What we should do first before building up relationships with others is to accept one's self.
The second one is about our relationships with others who are around us. It is not good to be alone. Man is a relational being. We build relationships and depend on those ties so we can live and survive the trials life may bring. To those who wanted to live all by themselves, well, my advice to you is live with this line, "We are meant to live with one another." You'll never reach your destination in life with no helping hands.
The third one emphasizes that we are not servants of Jesus Christ but we are His friends. It's our task to respond to that generous invitation. We should also treat Jesus as our friend. He initiated by dying on the cross because of us, his friends. And it's the greatest love, sacrificing one's life for the sake of his friends.
The speaker differentiated two kinds of love, acquisitive love and appreciative love. The former is the kind of love which we acquire only. This love arises from physical needs only. It's the most selfish and self-centered kind of love. No one could ever satisfy one's needs but God. The latter is the kind of love not based on needs but on our insights into beauty. It is enjoyed without being used up.
These are the things I've learned this day and I wanted to share them to all of you. This day I've met a couple of kids from different schools. It was fun especially when we played the parlor games. We may not have won the prizes but the best thing is that we were united as one and we've built up new relationships with each other. I'd love to get to know them.

It's The Play

In our Social Studies class, we were having a play about the ancient outrageous battles that marked our world history, The Battle of Marathon, The Battle of Thermophylae, and, The Battle of Salamis. We were divided into three groups to present these battles on stage. We were assigned to the great battle of Thermophylae.
It was about King Xerxes of Persia, son of Darius, building up his own army of 150 000 men and a navy of 600 ships to invade Greece and to avenge his father's death. The Greeks heard his amassing army. They also prepared their own forces while the Persians were building a bridge made up of boats tied together to get to Greece. They crossed the rugged mountains of Greece until they came into a narrow path called Thermophylae, and there, the Greeks were waiting. The two opposite forces squared off once again. The outnumbered Spartan soldiers led by King Leonidas stayed at Thermophylae to fight to death against the Persians.
Unfortunately, a Greek peasant named Ephialtes betrayed his own country when he personally went to King Xerxes. The traitor revealed the secret pass to Athens in exchange of gold. The Greeks were unexpectedly defeated and they retreated to the hills. The Persians conquered Athens.
We barely had a day and a half for scripting, directing and practicing, and three hours to make our props and costume and to rehearse. I was amazed at how my groupmates worked and tried their best to work this thing out. We successfully presented our play on stage just this afternoon.
Looking back, I couldn't imagine how we did it all in just two days. Well, maybe it's because of the cooperation and trust that we shared upon each other. It's because I trusted them. I've been learning on how to trust people to make things work out. I couldn't do it on my own. I love how it worked out. We may not know what will be the result of our hard work, but what's important is how we play our own roles to achieve our goals.

Feelings Blasted.

My fingers were itchy. I can't help it but post something about what I'm feeling now.

I was shocked. I was embarrassed. Practically, I feel like I'm sinking to the ground. I honestly can't explain everything what happened and shout it all to the world. I just want to let my feelings out by writing and blogging. It's the most convenient escape that I could ever do for now.
Letting one's feelings out is a thing that all must do in times when he/she felt like the world's upside down. Feelings of embarrassment, disappointment, anger, humiliation, displeasures, awkwardness, contempt, disdain and a lot more that could make you feel like you're about explode.
Have you felt something like this? When you've got nothing left to do but scream when you think about it and regret everything that has happened? Have you? I could not fathom what pain caused me. I could not even think right because what happened has invaded my mind.
Sometimes, in other people's cases, it could wreak havoc in someone's life. But now I've got nothinge else to do but try to get over this. I would recover soon. Hopefully.
It's a good thing that I've written something about how bad I'm feeling right now. I feel a lot better. I've blasted my feelings.

Triple Nine.

Three nine's. 999. It's the star number for today because it's September 9, 2009. It only happens for, like, a hundred years. So, I absolutely didn't want to miss posting with this significant date.

Defining What Can't Be Defined.

How do you define love in your own view? How do you contemplate it? I, as a writer and a blogger, have my own views about this. At this point of time and at my age of 15, I can't say I've been in love, and I'm falling in love. Well, especially when it comes with the opposite sex. Because right now and frankly speaking, I'm confused of what really this crazy thing called "love" is and how it works. So, let us evaluate the common definitions of LOVE defined by a major number of people.

• Love is blind. People who define that love is blind are the ones who experience negativity on their partners. They are blinded with the positives of their partners and they don't see what they're supposed to see that are negative. There are a lot of examples to this. One, a girl is crazy over a gorgeous and has the Edward Cullen looks guy but she was blind of his bad habits like smoking pot or drinking liquors. Two, a Brad Pitt-look alike guy is madly in love with an Ugly Betty-look alike girl but has a kind and true heart.
• Love is like a flowing river. Love flows gradually like a river. Its both ends at some points are connected with this flowing river. But with this definition. Only one is giving and the other is taking. Meaning to say, the river is headed to one destination, and it doesn't flow back to its starting point. Right? One is constantly giving away love while the other is receiving it but doesn't give back.
• Love is like a bubble gum. This one is one of the funniest that I've heard. It's the most sarcastic definition for me. They say it's like a bubble gum, when you swallow it, it would make you crazy. Love makes one deeplessly crazy making it feels like a bubble gum.
• Love is like a rose. A rose is beautiful yet full of thorns. Yes, it makes you happy but at a certain time, you'll feel pain.

Those are probably the definitions that I often hear from people who experience love. Yet, a lot of people opposed to these definitions. Why is that?

It's because each and everyone of us is different just how different we view love. We see things differently. We see LOVE in our own perspectives.

As for my own view, love is something that no one else but God could explain and define. God gave us LOVE. With this given gift, we share it to others unconditionally. We can define and explain the infamous Pythagorean Theorem. As human beings, we can't approximately and exactly define love in WORDS but we can show it indefinitely in ACTIONS.

But if I really have to define it in words it would be "Love is everything." But it's more than that. It makes you feel fulfilled, contented, happy, and all emotions there is because even in love, we experience hurts and pains. Love will never be love without pains. I see love everyday for I see God's love in my family and friends, in my countless daily blessings, in my studies, in my relationships with other people, in how I live throughout the day.

What I'm confused about is if I'm feeling love or falling in love now with a boy. As a teenager, I have full of doubts in terms of this. How do we ever know if it's already love? I guess I can say that love will find a natural way to understanding. Love will find a way to my heart.

Looking Up

I was mesmerized with these extraordinary sights of nature.
They're much more amazing in reality.

Everyday, I would look up the sky and gaze at the cloud formations. It's something that I do habitually. Whether it's rainy, cloudy or sunny. I love how the clouds move. Slowly yet when no one would notice the time, they have formed uniquely. It's because of the breezes and of the winds.
It's sometimes like how people live their lives. They don't look around and see how their lives are working. They don't notice that winds of life are changing them.

It's always good to look around.

my series of unfortunate events.

Actually, I'm about to hit the sacks now and visit my dreamland. I can't help but post something what happened yesterday. So, to start off, I'm having this question in mind, "How come when you are rushing and are having a very critical time, it's when you have the bad lucks, too?"
The day was supposed to be good because it's the start of a fresh school week but I started it off real bad. I woke up beyond my waking time. Something was wrong with my alarm clock. Darn. Obviously, I was a little beyond my schedule. I took my bath, with a usual duration time (can't afford to lessen it), and ate my breakfast quickly. Then, my brother and I hit the road with my Dad driving the car.
So here are the real things that have almost salvaged my day. Instead of taking the usual route in going to school, we went to the nearest bank so that my Dad can withdraw money for our allowance. But, hey, the nearest was offfline. Darn again. We rushed to the mall nearby (LKKS Center) and gladly, the ATM was online.
I was starting to feel the pressure because we stopped by a Vulcanizing Shop. Dad found out that a tire was flat. Darn again and again. So, we were about to rush and kick the Super Highway when the the damn traffic light flashed its red light. Oh, crap. I felt that I was totally running out of time. I let out a breath of relief when it signaled to Go.
Along the way, I kept on glancing at my watch, hopelessly wishing that time would stop. Then, when Dad was rushing, he was about to hit a man who's carelessly not looking at the road. Holy Mackerel. Fortunately. We were near to our destination when a car blocked the road as he was parking.
Finally, we reached school beyond 7:00, but fortunately, the flag ceremony hadn't start yet. So, for the day, that was my sign of luck, at the very least.
Then I realized that fate is sometimes bitter to those who believe in it. It is just a matter of consequences. Life is truly full of surprises, and people have their own series of unfortunate events.

learning to say "NO"

It's monday. It's great to be back to school after a week of suspension of classes due to A(H1N1). It's great to see those lovely and vibrant faces of friends of mine. It's great to see those charming smiles and to hear those joyous laughs once again. It's great to be scribbling and jotting down notes again. Wow. It's really different. You can get a great deal of fun when at school.
I feel great that I have tried to be good with my decisions today. I have learned to say "NO" on little yet significant things especially in financial matters. On my way home from school, I was invited by a couple of my classmates to come over at some fastfood store to grab some food. I was about to say YES at that time because I was craving for the yummy chocolate ice cream and was also thinking about the fun that we will be having. But then something ruled my mind that time and I was able to say NO. The money that will be spent to buy food and the ice cream will be saved. And I feel so good because I have saved a lot of money today. I feel proud of myself.
I also said "NO" to someone else today. Last Wednesday, a boy named Petrie texted me. He had confessed about his feelings for me on a SMS message. I don't entertain boys who can't faced me in personal and can't tell the truth. In SMS or YM or e-mail, or any kind of social networking, you can never tell the sincerity or the pure intentions of someone wooing. Hmmp. And I was thinking (I can't help it) that maybe this morning, he would come to me. Foolish, I know. But he didn't.
Just on my way home, a classmate of mine who is my friend and who is also his friend, came up to me and said, "Hey, Petrie's inviting you." the friend said. I replied with a smug, "Hmp! Really? Where to?" "To a party over at his house this Saturday." I replied smugly, "NO." "Why?" "Well, if he's inviting me, he should come and ask me personally." The friend just smiled and didn't say anything.
I may be so bad or strict or too mean but it is the right thing to do. I couldn't say YES, of course. Now, I'm seeing the his true self. Not that brave and sincere.
Learning to say "NO" is one of the great things to learn in life. With these, you also learn to think of the decisions and choices to be made wisely. This is to prevent any conflicts of your schedule, your time, your relationships with the people around you or even your life.

stressing out...

My classmates say that the passed week has been so boring because of the suspension of regular classes at school. Hmm. It's far way from the same. To ME. I've been busy this week. Yeah. Busy, indeed. I think this word will never be out of my vocabulary. I am a dynamic and outgoing girl. I do a lot of things. Well, sometimes they say, "You're stressed out." Hmp. Right. But I'm immuned in doing things on my own.
On an anime series that I recently watched, I realized doing things on my own is too bad. I mean, I have friends. Well, I consider a lot of them as FRIENDS, actually. Cooperation and Trust are the two main things that is needed when doing things together.
Anyway, this week, I've been doing a little bit of my chores, nannied my little brother and fetched him at school, watching movies and series, memorizing a declamation piece in my Speech class, doing homeworks, designing a costume, designing the classroom's bulletin, and translating a song. Believe me, the last one is one of the easiest for me. I never thought translating a song could be so much EASY. Though it really twisted my brains out.
That's how I spent my week out of the terrifying teachers' clutches. I just feel excited and great. This agitation of mine is for this coming Monday. I get to see my friends again. Though schooling can be sometimes terrifying, stressing or anything that could describe those mean mountains of school activities, you could always insert the word FUN in everything that you do.
Uh-huh. That word keeps me from stressing out. Always have FUN.

hello.

Hi. The first word that I could ever think of as of this point of time. Duh. And it's a simple greeting to all of you out there who's reading this (well, if you really are reading). This is my first time to post a blog at Blogger.
I suppose this is going to be my online diary. I had a couple of entries in my journal. I'm going to post it here.
For security reasons to those who were involved in my day-to-day life and who are in the realms of my existence, I've decided to change their real names. Though I may be just an ordinary girl, I just want to share how I live my life at this point of time. May these stories of mine teach you all lessons of life.
Well, enough for that. I'll post my blogs of the past few weeks. Thank you for reading. =)